Betcha Just My Swallow Your Tongue ReEdit
by jcon539
Summary: Radiant Garden Mental Facilaty is wonderful place to regain your sanity. We offer group therapy, shock treatments, and an array of medications to keep the voices out of your head. We do all we can to make sure your stay is comfortable. Re-edit
1. Axel:The Start

**This is a re-write of Betcha Just Might Swallow Your Tongue**

**I explained some of this in the last chapter of the old story which I am keeping up.**

**I've changed some stuff in this chapter. So read it!**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill  
**

* * *

This is just fantastic!

Man, my life is amazing!

Who wouldn't want to be here?

You'd have to be crazy to pass up the chance at a stay in Radiant Gardens Mental Health Facility!

Well actually **not** crazy. Considering they only let the crazies in.

I guess I'm considered one of those crazies now.

I let the faintest shadow of a smile cross my lips. I do agree with what I did may seem a bit crazy. But it was a one time deal. A stupid thought I acted on. Kids do stupid things all the time! No need to send someone to the nuthouse over it.

I look around at the pristine white walls. I won't be locked up within them very long. All I need to do is talk to someone and they'll realize I'm not mentally or emotionally disturbed.

Everything just got blown out of proportion. It wasn't even that big of a deal.

* * *

_I kneel in the grass of my backyard watching my brother's sneakers burn. I can see the reds and oranges and yellows consume the shoes. I can smell the burning rubber. I can hear the crackling and melting. If I breathe through my mouth I can taste the smoke. It doesn't make me choke or cough. I'm use to smoke. _

_The flames danced enticingly. Fire doesn't __**burn**__, fire __**dances**__. _

_I wonder what fire actually felt like, like how it really _feels_. I want to know what it's like to hold it in my hands. I just want to be…closer to it._

_I know it's hot. _ _But are the flames smooth feeling? _

_Or were they sharp?_

_I reach out and set my hand right on the flame. It dances and licks at my palm. Like a puppy in a pet shop. It hurt at first. But I don't let myself pull back. My hand blisters and the skin starts to melt away revealing the tender pink flesh underneath._

_The fire catches the hairs on my arm on fire. The flames dance to the hairs on my arms, using the tiny fibers as fuel. I watch, the pain seeming like an annoying voice in the back of my head. A voice that grows fainter and fainter._

_I hear the screen door being pushed open. I don't look back. I can ignore it and like the pain, it won't matter anymore._

"_God damn it Axel! Those are my new sneakers! Burn your own shoes!" My brother, Reno screams at me._ _Reno runs up behind me prepared to yell some more, but he stops dead in his tracks when he sees the inferno working it's way up my arm._

"_Axel…Axel stop it! What the fuck do you think you're doing! Stop it!" he yells in a high pitched panicky voice._

_I just ignore him. I stare at my hand. It's just so beautiful. _

_Reno grabs my shoulder and jerks me back from the burning shoes. I use my non-burning hand to catch myself from falling. I don't dare take my eyes off the flames. I don't want to miss it. I don't want Reno to miss it!_

_Only then did I actually acknowledge his presence._ _I reached my hand up towards him with a small smile on my lips. _

"_Look at me…I'm burning," I say holding my arm out to Reno. I want him to see this; I want him to feel happy with me. _

_Reno leans away from me, his eyes wide with fear. He rips off his jacket and wrapped it around my arm smothering the flames. I try to fight him but the flames are gone before I can do anything._

_The fire is gone. The bright burning beautiful fire is gone._

_I stared at the blistered and charred flesh on my arm. It's so ugly. The fire was so pretty. But it made my arm so ugly._

_

* * *

  
_

I can dimly remember the ambulance ride with the EMTs picking off the dead flesh with tweezers. It hurt real bad. But I didn't make a sound. I didn't grimace in pain. I just stared straight ahead. It was like I was a zombie. I couldn't snap myself out of it.

Reno on the other hand was freaking out. He shook me trying to get me to say something. He called mom telling her what happened. He told the doctors what I did. I think he cried at one point. I wanted to tell him to cool the fuck down, but I couldn't even focus my eyes on him.

The doctors drugged me so I'd fall asleep and they could fix my arm.

When I woke up I was back to my normal self. I could talk. I felt fine. My hand felt raw and painful. I couldn't move my fingers, but I figured it would all go back to normal eventually. I was ready to go home. But the hospital did some psycho analyzing shit on me. They said I was unstable.

That I needed help.

That I was a pyromaniac.

They made Mom and Reno believe them. They ate up all the plans for rehabilitation and a better life for me. I tried to tell them I was completely sane, but they wouldn't listen to me. The doctors made Mom sign papers to send me to Radiant Gardens. And that was that.

So that's why I was currently sitting in the lounge area with a bunch of crazies. I'm supposed to sit in the lounge until the nurse lady has time to show me around and explain the rules. I don't understand why they are leaving me all alone on my first day…in a mental hospital.

"Hello! I'm the Great Ninja Yuffie! Are you new?" asks some girl with short black hair and a wide smile on her face. She sits down next to me on the couch and looks at me expectantly. Like a kid waiting for the answer to the universe.

"Um? You're a ninja?" I ask uncertain how crazy this girl could be. She looks normal. But earlier I had made the mistake of thinking this guy named Hatter was normal.

He was not normal in any sense of the word.

"Oh yes! I'm a black belt. I've saved the world many times with my skills," says Yuffie quite perkily. Her smile fades a bit and her eyes dim, "But nobody ever believes me."

Suddenly she gets up and bolts from the room. I stare after her confused.

"Yuffie's really nice. But she's delusional. Don't mind her," says a kid with spiky brown hair sitting in one of the armchairs across from me. "I'm Sora. What's your name?"

I look him over warily before answering. He has a kind boyish face. He seem like he couldn't be older than fifteen or sixteen.

"I'm Axel. Before you say anything, are you as insane as the rest of these people?" I say warily. I know I'm being rude by asking this, but my prior experiences with my fellow patients have not given me a reason to trust him. Although, what crazy person would admit to being crazy?

"Hahaha. No. I'm just a little OCD. But I'm getting better now. So it's not as bad. I'll probably be leaving soon," replies Sora not looking the least bit insulted.

"Oh, well that's good. I'll probably be leaving soon too," I say.

"Really? Why?" asks Sora his eyes widening.

"I really shouldn't be here, it's all a misunderstanding," I say rolling my eyes.

"Oh…well I hope you get to go home," replies Sora timidly, the friendliness disappearing from his face being replaced with apprehension.

I don't know what I said wrong. I open my mouth to ask what his deal is when the nurse pokes her head in the door, "Ready for the tour?"

"Sure," I say getting up. I don't care what Sora thinks, he's crazy anyway.

The nurse motions me to walk over to a big board hanging on the wall, "First of all, I am Nurse Aerith, and I'm the head nurse. You come to me or any of the other nurses if you have any problems. A basic schedule would be breakfast at 8 o' clock. Then you have school for two hours followed by lunch. Then there's free time or Group Therapy. They can switch depending on current situations and scheduled activities. In the evening you will have an enrichment activity like music, art, library, etc. On certain days you will have your scheduled therapy session. Then you eat dinner and get ready to return to your room. Lights out is at 10 o' clock. We do lock the doors at night and do checks every 15 minutes. So don't try anything funny," she finishes off her explanation with a sweet smile. Nurse Aerith seems very motherly. Like a stereotypical nurse, "Do you have any question?"

"Yeah, what's this board for?" I ask pointing to the giant board with names and numbers written on it.

"Oh right! I almost forgot. It's the achievement board. We have 3 levels here. You start at level 1 and work your way up to level 3. The levels have different privileges. You level jump by improving in activities and your therapy. You need to get to level 1 before getting releases. Do you understand all that?" she asks writing my name on the board with a giant 3 next to it.

My heart sinks a little when I see the 3. I just want to leave. I don't want to earn levels and mess with therapy and being locked in my room at night, "Yeah I understand."

"Alright well let's walk around"

I follow after Aerith through the halls of Radiant Garden. It's actually smaller than I expected. There's a cafeteria, a lounge, a music room, a nurses station, an office station, a couple bathrooms, and an art room. Plus all the patients rooms which really only consist of 2 beds and 2 bedside tables. Which means I have a roommate.

"So do you know who my roommate is?" I ask warily.

A strange expression flashes across Aerith's face before she answers, "Oh yes, his name is Roxas. I saw him in the art room if you'd like to meet him."

"Um…alright."

The art room is very bright. There are many drawings proudly hung up on the wall. Most of the drawings look like they were made by a retarded five year old. There are only two other people in the room. One is a girl with shoulder length blonde hair and clear blue eyes sitting in the corner scribbling furiously in a sketchbook. The other is a boy sitting at one of the tables lazily swiping a pencil across a piece of paper. I surmise that the boy is my new roommate.

He has blonde hair spiked up to one side and very bright blue eyes. He looked really skinny, almost too skinny. His shoulders are hunched into himself in a weird protective position. I can almost see his should blade through the back of his shirt.

Aerith goes and gently sits next to my skeletal room mate. I follow her awkwardly, not sure what to expect.

"Hey Roxas this is Axel! He's your new roommate," says Aerith softly.

Roxas doesn't reply. He doesn't even acknowledge that he heard Aerith. He just keeps drawing on his paper. He is drawing a very detailed picture of a cake. I start to feel an awkward silence so I said the first thing that came to my mind because of all things in the world, I cannot stand awkward silences.

"That's a really good picture. It looks like you could actually eat the cake." I smile trying to be friendly. If I'm going to be stuck here it won't hurt to make some friends.

"Yes. Yes it does," replies Roxas very softly. I can barely hear what he says. He crumples up his drawing and stuffs it in his mouth with no warning. Then chews and swallows the wad of paper in one gulp.

"Roxas! How many times have I told you not to eat paper or any other art supplies?!" scolds Aerith like this kid is a three year old instead of…I'm not even sure how old he could be.

I stare at the little blonde kid. He looks really happy, like he actually had just taken a bite out of a real birthday cake instead of eating paper. Something about this gives me a sinking feeling in my stomach.

* * *

**Loved it? Hated it?**

**Review and give me thoughts! What should I tweak?  
**


	2. Riku: Manic

**I didn't change much in this chapter.**

**For some reason I wrote in past tense for the first couple chapters. **

**Disclaimer: I only own the story  
**

* * *

Chapter 2

"Fuck you! I don't need to you tell me what to fucking do!" I scream at the smug nurse.

I slam my fist into the wall to vent some of the anger out. I want to punch that bitch so bad. But I don't hit girls. I'm not my dad. I wouldn't ever punch a girl like what he did to my mom. That's just weak. I'm not weak.

"Now Riku, you need to learn to control your anger to get better. Don't abuse the walls," says the nurse with a small smile.

She was enjoying this! She liked making me upset.

I take a shaky breathe trying to fight the hot feeling of rage bubbling up in my stomach. If I don't control it then I will just black out and wake up punching the shit out of something or someone. Something I really don't want to happen…again.

"Whatever cunt," I turn and walk down the hall away from the nurse. She always makes a point to piss me off. She just loves my reactions. The staff here is a joke. They don't help us.

I storm into my room. I have to share with this neat freak named Sora. My therapist said I needed to get use to being around people. So he didn't let me have a single room. I _try_ not to flip out on Sora too much. But, sometimes I really can't stop some stuff I say.

I collapse on my bed trying to focus on making my mind empty. I don't want to think about anything.

I don't want to feel anything.

I wish I could have some sedatives. But I can only get them by having a meltdown, which isn't an option right now.

_Calm I am Calm. Calm I am Calm. Calm I am Calm. _

That's the mantra that I repeat over and over in my head. My therapist told me to use this as a mechanism to take my mind off the anger. I don't know if it's working. I still feel mad. I always feel mad. It never leaves.

My roommate decides to stroll into the room at this moment. Sora floats around on this cloud of bubbly rainbow optimistic thoughts. He doesn't get it. He doesn't understand that by being in this place he is branded a plague to society. We are the worst of the worst. We have to be _removed_ from the normal people. And just by being here and experiencing this, we will never ever be normal. We never were normal…

"Hey Riku, how are you? It's a great day isn't it? There's a new guy named Axel. I'm not sure why he's here. His arm is all bandaged up. Oh gosh this room is messy," says Sora in his ever present happiness.

He starts smoothing his perfectly made bed. I try to ignore him. But then he comes over to **my** bed and starts tugging at the comforter trying to straighten it.

I sit up lightning fast and shove him away.

"Don't touch my stuff," I say as calm as I can. Sora is really nice to me. Even if he is a deluded, jaded, brainwashed neat freak. I don't want to yell and make him cry…again.

"Okay. I'm sorry. It's just not straight. But I won't let that bother me. It doesn't bother me," says Sora. His eye twitches slightly and he sits down on his bed clasping his hands.

"Wow you're really getting better," I say carefully. Sora always likes to talk about how much progress he's making. In my opinion he just covers up his neat freak ways very well.

"Oh yes. Dr. Ansem told me I was making progress quickly. I'll probably get to go home soon," replies Sora happily. I heard nurses talking about him yesterday. They said Ansem told them to up his meds dosage. Which means Sora isn't getting better. I feel bad for him. He's so hopeful.

"That's really great Sora," I say half heartily.

"Lunch time," says a nurse poking her head in our room.

I stand up and walk out of the room. I look back in the room to see Sora straightening my bed.

* * *

Meal times are always very hectic, all the psychos in one room at the same time, the nursing staff running around calming down the patients.

I sit down at my usual table with some of the patients that don't piss me off as much as the others. Which includes a guy named Zexion. He has weird purplish hair that hung in his face. He doesn't talk very much and mostly keeps to himself. I'm not sure why he's here exactly.

There's a guy named Roxas. He is really weird. I'm not sure why he's here either. But I am positive he is a Class A nut job. He's always muttering about colors and doing some downright weird things. Demyx also sits with us. He has this weird spiked up mullet hair thing going on. Demyx has two personalities. One is really happy and bubbly. But the other is serious and mean, sometimes violent. I'm never sure which one I'm talking to.

Sora usually sits with us. But he's probably straightening my bed still.

I start eating my sandwich when Sora walks up leading a guy with flaming red hair and triangle tattoos under his eyes. His hand is wrapped in bandages.

"This is Axel; he's new, Axel that's Riku, Roxas, Demyx, and Zexion," introduces Sora. Sora sits down and Axel sits next to him. There's something weird about Axel. He doesn't seem nervous or anything. But he doesn't bother talking to any of us. All he does I pick at his sandwich and glance at Roxas every few seconds.

Roxas stares at the table. He doesn't eat his sandwich. He never eats at meal times. Maybe he's anorexic? That would make sense.

My thoughts are interrupted by a loud yelling from across the cafeteria.

"BUT I DON'T WANT TO GO AMONG MAD PEOPLE!" screams a blonde girl in a blue dress. I think her name is Alice. A nurse is dragging her by the wrist to a table. It's the bitch nurse from this morning. Just seeing her makes me pissed off.

I turn back around and look at Demyx who is giggling. He has his hand over his mouth to try to hide it. But I see it.

"What's your damage?" I spit at him.

"Haha…I don't know…hahaha….it's just funny…," Demyx says between fits of laughter.

I stare at him. My shoulders tense up. His laughing is making me angry. I don't like when people laugh. It makes me feel like they are laughing at me. Demyx is an idiot. I just want to rip his vocal cords out so he can never laugh again.

"Sooo….are you prematurely gray or something?" I whip my head to glare at the dumbass that said that. The new guy Axel shrinks back from me, shocked at my expression.

I tried to fight it. I really did.

I spring up from the table and punch him right in the face. He topples out of his chair with a cry of surprise.

I stand over him my breath coming out in ragged gasps.

I want to kick him!

Stomp on his face!

Make him into a gory smear on the tiled floor!

But I stop myself. I won't give in!

I. Am. Not. Weak.

"Say something about my hair again and I will rip yours out strand by fucking strand," I yell in his face.

"Dude, just calm down!" He says raising his hands up in an 'I give up' gesture. I can tell he's afraid of me and that makes me even more mad.

"Don't tell me to calm down! You can't tell me what to do you dumb fuck!" I scream raising a fist to pummel him with. But before I can move my arm another inch, one of the male orderlies grabs me from behind in a bear hug.

"NOOO! Let me GO! Get the fuck off me! You're lucky new guy! Count your blessings!" I wail as the orderly tries to drag me off.

I fight back tooth and nail. Another orderly has to come help restrain me. I buck and kick and scream but they won't let me go. They try to say stuff to calm me down, but a red haze in my head won't let me listen. I can't control it. It's like the anger in the pit of my stomach trying to get out of me any way possibly.

The orderlies wrestle me onto a gurney and start strapping my arms and legs down. I don't like it. I don't like the orderlies touching me. I don't like not being able to move.

"Get off me you-," I'm cut off as a syringe was stabbed in my arm.

Oh great, sedatives, just what I wanted earlier.

I fight back but my strength is failing me. The drug is making me weak. I collapse back on the gurney. I am weak.

I gave in to my anger.

I am weak.

My vision is starting to darken. I tried to fight it.

But I gave in.

I gave in to the darkness.

I am weak.

Worthless.

Destructive

.........

* * *

**Yeah...same shizz happened.**

**The next one won't change much either.**

**Because it is the gloriousness of a look in Roxas' head!**

**I screwed up the later chapters of him. And Axel's character got screwed up. So I'm going to try and fix that.  
**

**I'm going to introduce Hayner earlier. Tweak his character a bit.**

**Sora is going to go a completly different way. **

**And Demyx's split personality is going to be a little more...noticable...but same dilemma.**

**Pretty much...anything after chapter 11 will be totally different with only some conversations and thoughts kept.**

**Review? Because I loooooooove them.  
**


	3. Roxas:Space Case

**Oh you know. Not much change here.**

**I liked this chapter.**

* * *

Chapter 3

Riku turned red today.

He let the colors control him.

He needs to learn to control the colors.

I learned to a long time ago.

I feel like pacing. So I walk up and down the hallway.

_Down_

_Turn_

_Back_

_Turn_

_Down_

_Turn_

_Back_

The evil ones all dress in white walk past me. I wish I wore white. And they were the ones locked up. **Then** it'd be different.

They are actually locked up though.

I'm **free**.

My mind is **free**. At least, that's what I heard…from someone…sometime long ago.

I imagine throwing a rock in my head. It echoes five times.

Five is a good number. Five fingers on my hands. Five points on a star. I once held a starfish in my hand. Five is good.

Preoccupied by my thoughts I walk into something solid and stumble back. I breathe evenly through my nose and look at the floor. I could see the reflection of one of the Whitelocked. I knew him, from somewhere. But I can't remember where. I look up straight into his face, trying to remember. This was important. It felt like I should know him.

He has black hair.

"I know you from somewhere," I inform him.

"Well jeez Roxas, I sure hope you would know me! I've known you since you were just a kid. I'm Cloud's friend. I help take care of you everyday here. Zack? Ring any bells?" He says with a friendly smile on his face.

It's a fake smile. He's making up colors to fool me. When he said Zack it clicked. He was the one that made Cloud send me here. I don't like him. He brainwashes people.

I don't answer his question. I just resume my pacing. He's not worth my time. He's already stolen enough from me.

"Hey wait Roxas! You have group therapy," he yells after me. The fake smile is gone. He looks sad now. But he could be faking this too.

I turn around and walk into the lounge room. There are chairs arranged in a circle. I hate circles. They're never ending. I can't get out of a circle. They trap people.

I scoot my chair slightly out of the circle and pulled my legs up to my chest. The other patients in my group session are sitting around happily chatting, waiting for their minds to be brainwashed by a Whitelocked.

"Okay guys lets get started with this," announces Leon, the Whitelock in charge of this. "We have a new patient today. His name is Axel. Can everyone say hello?"

Everyone mutters small greetings to the new Axel. He shifts uncomfortably in his chair and picks at a bandage around his hand.

His color is a very dark purple.

"What brings you 'round here?" asks Demyx smiling nicely at Axel.

"Stupid mistakes," replies Axel shortly.

"That doesn't tell us shit," spits out Larxene. I find her to be a very unpleasant person. Her color is red almost all the time.

"I just got carried away. I don't want to talk about it," replies Axel, his color turning a darker purple.

"Leon is Riku okay? He never came back after he got angry," asks Sora raising his arm and breaking Axel's interrogation. I like Sora. I'm not sure why though.

"He was sedated. He won't wake up for a couple hours. Don't worry about him, he'll be fine," says Leon.

"He freaked again? What set him off this time?" asks Luxord in his British accent. I like when Luxord talks. It's calming.

"I think I might have…," says Axel sheepishly. Sheepishly. Sheepishly. Sheepishly.

_Bah, bah, black sheep,_

_Have you any wool?_

_Yes, marry have I,_

_Three bags full;_

_One for my master,_

_One for my dame_

_But none for the little boy_

_Who cries in the lane._

"….as? Roxas? Hey! Roxas!"

I was pulled from my thoughts again by Leon the Whitelock. I look at him mid-smile. I always loved that nursery rhyme. It makes me happy.

"Why are you laughing? Do you think this is funny?" asks Leon in a stern voice. Leon doesn't like me. I can't remember why though. I did something to him. He holds grudges.

I stop smiling. Whitelocks take all my happiness away. I fixed a very serious expression on my face and looked him in the eye, "I have no comment."

That's what Cloud told me to say when I don't feel like saying anything. It usually works.

"I would like if you shared what you were thinking with the group," says Leon in a fake nice tone. I don't know what to say. I don't remember my thoughts. Everyone is looking at me, waiting for me to speak. My heart feels like a bird smacking repeatedly against my chest, frantically trying to escape.

"Why bother asking him Leon? You know he's a space case," sneers Larxene. Red is everywhere around her.

Something tugs at me, an odd feeling. I look over at Axel. I search his face for…something; I'm not sure what I'm looking for.

He looks confused.

But under it, he looks angry.

He looks red.

"There's something different with you," I tell him. Usually people would say, "There's something wrong with you." But _different_ makes more sense to me. Because nothing is ever _wrong_, it's just _different_ from what people think it should be.

The room is quiet.

Everyone is confused now.

"What?" asks Axel his face scrunching it confusion.

"He's a space case. Doesn't have any idea what's going on. Don't listen to him," Larxene tells Axel. Leon says something to her. But I don't pay attention to him. I tune the conversation out until they let us leave. I don't care what any of them have to say.

I get up and walked out of the circle, the circle that traps people. The circle of people telling their tragic life stories over and over, thinking it would cure them.

But all it did was give their **souls** to the Whitelocks.

You can't ever get out of the circle without a **soul**.

_Shove_

"_NO!"_

_Bang_

_Craaack_

"_Please state your emergency."_

I open my eyes.

I always hear those noises when I try to sleep.

It was like my brain wanted to make sure I wouldn't ever forget it.

I sigh and roll over onto my stomach.

My stomach growled but I don't feel hungry.

I rarely do. I skipped dinner today. I don't see the point in going if I can't eat the food. There's just something wrong with food. It's all been tainted.

The Whitelocks had to force feed me a couple times. I shudder at the memories of it.

I wish I had a bouncy ball to throw at the ceiling. It'd help me fall asleep. It'd take my mind off things. I wish I could forget the bad stuff. I wish I got hit on the head hard enough to erase the memories. I want to walk around living a lie instead of knowing how terrible I was.

I wish the colors would leave me alone for five seconds.

The door opens. A Whitelock girl comes in with the new Axel guy following behind her.

"Hello Roxas, Axel is your new roomy. I hope you guys get along. Pills are going to be passed out in ten minutes. I'll tell you when we have checks." With that she walks out of the room leaving us alone.

Axel stands there awkwardly before sitting on the other twin bed in the cramped room. The walls are white, which I don't mind. But the bed spreads are blue. That makes me uneasy. I didn't like the color blue very much. I don't want it to seep off the bedspread into me. So I usually don't sleep with blankets no matter how cold it was.

"What did you mean in group?" asks Axel looking at me carefully. It seems like he's a little afraid of me. Or that he thinks I'm slow minded. He listened to Larxene.

_Space Case_

"I'm not sure what I meant. I just said it. You made me think it. It's not my fault," I say back softly.

"That doesn't make any sense though!" he says leaning toward me.

The red is getting stronger around him. It's making little pinpricks in his usual purple.

"I think you should calm down, Axel," I tell him, my jaw feeling tight and locked up. I don't want to deal with the red right now.

"I'm fine. I just wanted to know what you meant," says Axel defensively.

"Why bother? I'm a space case, spouting random words my brain threads together for me. Not a very good person to take seriously," I say.

"Whatever, I don't care," sighs Axel lying back on his bed. I chance a look over at him. Usually people don't give up that easy. I usually have to jump around their questions for an hour until they lose interest. I didn't expect this Axel guy to give up so quickly. He didn't seem the type.

"Checks," says the Whitelock from before, opening the door.

I get up and walk out into the hall to stand in line for my pills. I don't really like swallowing the pills. They make me tired. But, I get put in solitary if I don't take them. And that's just not somewhere I enjoy being.

I take the Dixie cup filled with a round white pill, a round blue pill, and a triangular white pill and swallowed them with a gulp of water.

Part of me wants to take a bite out of the Dixie cup, like in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Like the part in the candy room and a flower turns into a teacup and he bites into it. I wondered if the Dixie cup would taste sweet like the flower. I bring the cup close to my mouth deciding whether or not to bit into it.

But before I can decide, Zack takes the cup out of my hand and puts it in the trash can. He smiles at me. I glare back at him.

I was disappointed.

I walked back to my room.

I felt a bit woozy. I always feel blurred out after night pills. I stumble back into my room. Axel is still waiting in line. He hasn't unpacked anything from his suitcase. His side of the room looks bare. My old roomy had a lot of posters and books. The bare white walls don't look right.

I look at my side of the room. Somebody put the blue bedspread back on the bed. I grab a small corner of it and pull it of my bed. I can feel the blue trying to soak into my fingertips. I shudder in disgust.

I change into my pajamas before Axel comes back. I have to re-knot the drawstring on my sweat pants. They seem to have gotten bigger since I've been here. They use to fit perfectly.

The wooziness from the pills washes over me again, stronger than before. I lie down on my bed because I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to stand much longer. I close my eyes. The wooziness pulls me down deeper and deeper like a stone sinking in a great big black ocean. I don't stay awake long enough to hear Axel come back into the room.

* * *

**There it is.**

**I'm still thinking on what to do with the next chapter. **

**Review? I'll speak the spanish language to you.  
**


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